Overdelivering Is People Pleasing In Disguise (Or Is It?) | Ep. 43

You've probably been there...you finish a project and realize you did way more than what was actually in your contract. Maybe you told yourself it was just this one time, or that it was the right thing to do for the client. 

But somewhere in the back of your mind, you started wondering: am I doing too much? And if I am, why do I keep doing it?

That question had me in a choke hold for a solid year.

In this episode, I'm getting honest about the mental tug-of-war I had with my own offer as a done-for-you systems strategist. I kept going beyond the deliverable limits I had set in my own contracts  and I couldn't figure out if that was something to be proud of or something to fix. 

Was I overdelivering because I genuinely cared about my clients getting results? Or was I doing it out of fear and the need to keep everyone happy?

The answer changed how I run my business entirely.

I'm sharing the moment that finally gave me clarity, the shift I made to my offer structure, and the one question I now ask myself that every service provider needs to sit with when it comes to doing "extra" work.

In this episode:

• Why going beyond your contract isn't automatically a red flag
• How to get honest with yourself about why you're doing the extra work
• The offer structure shift that took the guilt completely off my plate
• What two virtual assistants on Threads taught me about my own business

If you've ever felt boxed in by the offer you created for yourself, this episode is going to hit home.

🎙️ABOUT THE HOST

Hi, I'm Kenniqua Lewter, Client Experience Systems Strategist, HoneyBook Educator, and the host of the Systems Rehab Podcast. I help service providers create client experience systems that save time, strengthen client relationships, and build a business that runs with ease. 

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Transcript

Kenniqua Lewter (00:00)
Overdelivering is people pleasing in disguise. Or is it? I was listening to a podcast episode. This was probably about a year ago or so, and the episode was Overdelivering is people pleasing in disguise. And.

That really stuck with me. When I mean it stuck with me, it stuck with me for a while. I would say probably over a year or so because it really made me think myself, I'm a system strategist and I build systems for clients and I offer a done for you service. And so it really made me think about, I actually really over delivering?

the reason that I'm over delivering, is it because I'm trying to go through and I'm trying to actually please like in a negative way, my clients. And so for a year, that statement, actually, it had me in a choke hold for a minute. I'm not even going to lie. It really did. It really had me questioning this. It really had me questioning it. So for about that year, I was offering, like I said, a done for you system service.

And I had a service where like I do client management systems for my clients. That's what I go through and create. And so I had my offer structure where I had a certain amount of deliverables per offer. So I would have my systems build, which for example would have.

five email templates, maybe it had three forms, maybe it had five automations like that, right? So there were different, there were a set amount of deliverables per offer. And so at the time that seemed good to have, right? It seemed like, okay, yeah, you wanna put a number on it because sometimes scope creep could be real where you end up just doing way, way too much. But then it got to a point that that in fact was actually happening.

Even with the numbers that I had, so the deliverables that I had, I still found myself going over the amount of deliverables that I had. So at end of project, I'm looking back and I'm like, wow, you know, actually ended up with 10 automations or 15 automations versus what I actually had on my contract, right? And so I kept replaying this episode to myself, like,

over delivering is people pleasing in disguise. And I really had to keep thinking about it. Like, am I actually trying to people please? Like, am I really trying to go through and please my clients and like to the point of doing something that I don't really want to do. And I'm just trying to please them for their satisfaction. So that's like kind of like how it was going through and really thinking about it.

And so as I started to sit there and sit with that statement, like I said, this was like a year, like I didn't actually resolve this for like a year or so. But basically how my process originally ran at that time was that, and actually this part is still the same, is that I would do a strategy call with my clients. It was a 90 minute strategy call where we mapped out their client journey for their systems.

So the client journey is where like we take each touch point that the client goes through from the time they inquire all the way through the off boarding phase and beyond. But that's where we would say, you know, this is the email that would go out to the client. This is the like questionnaire. So like a form, if you needed to get more information from your clients, this is the proposal that you would send contracts. So like we mapped out each one of the steps.

And so when we did that, based off of the client journey, I would then go through and I would send over, these are the task items that I need, these are the documents and assets that I need for this client journey. And so this process is actually still the same. This is still the same way that I did it. But then what I found was, that, hmm.

I'm saying that I only give you a certain amount of things. So I only give you example. I don't remember what the number was, but I only give you five email templates, maybe three forms, like I said, five automations or something like that, right? For, for set amount. But what I found was after doing and getting the deliverables for getting some, not the deliverables, but getting the assets and documents from the clients based on the client journey that we mapped out, it ended up being more.

than what I actually had inside of the contract. And so just knowing that based off my contract, I was doing more than what the contract was actually for, at certain points, it had me feeling like, am I over delivering? Like, am I actually over delivering? Like I said, I'm gonna do a certain amount, but it actually equaled out to be more for some clients. Not all clients, but some clients ended up being more. But I would say,

on average majority of the clients, it ended up being more. And so it really had me think, am I over delivering? And I always, like I said, I always was going back to this episode. Am I actually going through and people pleasing? And it wasn't until I was on threads one day, absolutely love threads. So I was on threads one day and I saw two young ladies. So both young ladies actually have a virtual assistant business.

one virtual assistant, she was complaining that she was basically, she was overworking. She was doing extra stuff that was not in her contract. And she was basically complaining about it. Right? Rightfully so. Right. And then I saw another young lady. probably like within weeks of each other.

I saw another young lady who was also a virtual assistant who was saying the same thing. However, she didn't feel she was going over. She was actually doing more hours and a little bit more work than her original contract said, but she didn't feel any way about it. She actually kind of embraced it as that she was really going through and providing support for her clients. And she was doing

was she knew her clients actually did need. And it was okay that if it took a little bit extra, she felt like she was going beyond what was required because she wanted to do that for her clients. And so that really got me thinking about myself and the reason why I was over delivering. And I'm like, you know what? I'm not over delivering.

because in the sense of people pleasing. I'm not people pleasing. I was over delivering because I wanted my clients to get a certain transformation. If my goal as a system strategist was to make sure that my clients were able to go through and manage their clients easier,

They were able to go through and take hours off of their plates every single week that I had to go through and do a client journey from the beginning to the end. And that it would only be right that I gave them everything that they needed in order to be able to see that client journey come to life. And

saying that one service provider would get one, well, every service provider could get the same amount of deliverables would not be accurate, right? It wouldn't be accurate because every single last business that I work with, every service provider, they are all, they're just all different.

They all have different client journeys. The way that they work with their clients, what they need from their clients, what they need their clients to do. They're all going to be different. Thus, some may have 10 deliverables. Others may have 25. So when I really thought about, ⁓ no, you're putting yourself in this box of saying you're only going to do this certain amount of things, this certain amount, but you feel so bad.

afterwards because it's like you put yourself in this box and now you're over the box, right? You're, over the limit and you're making yourself feel this way. You're making yourself feel this way when in reality, the only thing that you truly really wanted and the reason why you're going over to begin with is because you wanted to go through and get your clients results. You wanted them to be able to bring the full journey to life and I didn't want them to have a half to big system.

I didn't want to, if I gave our clients just 10 forms or 10 emails, then that would literally stop them, some of them, depending on what they offered, right there in the middle of their client journey. And how helpful is that to say, okay, I'm going to stop you in the middle of the journey because now you're over your limit, or I have to charge you more because now you're over the limit that you had. So instead of going through and keeping myself in this box and now really understanding that you know what,

Over-delivering is not people-pleasing. It's really about, well, I would say this, it's about why you're over-delivering, right? There's really just thinking about why was I over-delivering? And once I realized why I was over-delivering, it made it so much easier for me to then be like, girl, take yourself out of this box. And so what I did was I made the shift to say, you know what? I'm going to give my clients

everything that they need that would bring their client journey to life up to three offers. So instead of putting caps on, Hey, you can only have this amount. I'll give you everything that you need based off your client journey. So when you go through, we map this out for you in a strategy call from the beginning to the end. If it takes 10 emails to get there, we're going to do 10. If it takes 25 emails to get there,

10 automations to get there. That's what we're going to do to get you from the beginning to the end. And when I tell you the weight that lifted off my shoulders and I, and from that point have never felt bad about my offer, I never felt bad about the service that I delivered again, because I took myself out of this box to say that I'm only going to do.

X, Y, Z. Now, am I saying that certain offers shouldn't have a certain amount of deliverables? I'm not saying that, but what I'm saying is that for me, I had to really think about if I am over delivering, why am I over delivering and evaluating that evaluating what actually meant more to me. And once I evaluated what meant more to me and why I was doing the thing that I did, I was able to then craft my offer.

to support the way that I actually wanted to support my clients, how I actually wanted to go through and wanted to show up. And so if you are listening to this episode, and by the way, if this is the first time that we're meeting, my name is K'Niquil Luthor. I'm a client experience system strategist. I'm a HoneyBook strategist. I do help my clients manage their clients easier by using client relationship management tools and to boost up their retention and their referrals.

And so if you are listening to this and you're thinking about like, okay, I used to think or do the same thing. Really? I would just say, really just sit down, just evaluate why are you doing the extra work? Is the extra work because you're afraid? If you're afraid that you're going to lose the client to somebody else, then maybe it might be a people pleasing thing, right? Or are you doing it because you actually want your client to get results and that one little extra email or

that extra 30 minutes that might take you over your allotted time that you have for your package, does it really make a difference? is it something so like just really just questioning why it is that you're doing the what you're doing. And then if you find that you're doing it on repeat, how can you send yourself free out of that box that literally is business owners that we've created for ourselves? Like my offers, I created them myself.

But yet I felt restricted by it. I restricted myself within my own offer because I saw everyone else going through putting limits on their offer. So I thought, hey, you know, that's the best way to do is to put a limit on the offer. And I'm like, you know what? No, I don't want to put limits on offers.

because I feel bad putting a limit on the offer because again, every single client that I work with, they are different. They're unique. Their business is unique and they're all going to need something different. So if you're really thinking about that, again, think about why you're actually doing it and evaluating why you're actually doing it and what you need to maybe change or put in place to make you feel better in your own offer. Because like I said, that one VA was not happy about

what she was doing, but the other one was. So is there a right or wrong? I don't really think there is. It's really just about being happy with the way that you show up, the way that you want to support your clients, the way that works best for you, your business, your goals, and go with that. so, yeah, over delivering is not people pleasing. It just really just depends on why you're actually doing it, right?

So I hope you enjoyed. I just like I said, I had to really share this and kind of. Pull back this thought a little bit, just because like really, this was something I really did show this thought held me down. I'm telling you, this this held me down for about a year that I really, really felt really bad about the offer that I was giving, that I was offering. I felt really bad. just I I just felt like I was doing too much because I put a strain on myself.

I put restrictions on myself that I actually didn't even really need to do. So I hope this episode did help you. Definitely go ahead and give a like and share depending on where you're watching or listening to this episode. And just be sure to subscribe to the Systems Rehab Podcasting YouTube channel and I will see you in the next episode.